Why Change is Scary

Life is full of ups and downs. We experience happiness, pride, joy, love – and then there are times when we feel sadness, embarrassment, despair, and anger. It's all part of the human experience. People often say that the low points make the high points even sweeter, so maybe we should embrace them.

The Discomfort of Moving Towards a New Goal

One of those surprising low points is the discomfort we feel when we're moving towards a new goal. You start a new project feeling motivated and excited, but suddenly, doubt, uncertainty, and fear creep in. Whether you're applying for a new job or buying a new house, these feelings can be overwhelming and might even stop you in your tracks.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

Even when you know that your goal is good for you, waves of doubt can make you question if it's the right thing to do. That's because change is hard. It takes you out of your comfort zone and throws you into the unknown. You might wonder, "Am I good enough? Will I make a fool of myself? Will the end result be as good as I hoped?"

The Nature of Change

We often see change as a huge, defining moment – a decision followed by action. But in reality, change happens gradually, through many small steps. It's not always a straight path; there can be setbacks, slip-ups, or times when you have to start over. And that's okay.

Does Planning Matter When You Want Change?

Absolutely! Taking time to reflect and plan is key to achieving any goal. Without a plan, you're like a ship without a rudder. But remember, your plan shouldn't be set in stone.

Intended, Emergent, and Realised Strategies

I like to explain this using a business concept that works for personal goals too: 'Intended Strategy' vs. 'Emergent Strategy' vs. 'Realised Strategy.' These concepts were developed by Henry Mintzberg and his colleagues at McGill University.

• Intended Strategy: This is the strategy you plan to implement to achieve your goal. It's your initial roadmap, created with the best information available at the time.

• Emergent Strategy: This strategy develops in response to unexpected opportunities or challenges. It's how you adapt and react to changes in your environment that weren't anticipated when you created your Intended Strategy.

• Realised Strategy: This is the strategy that actually unfolds, combining elements of both Intended and Emergent Strategies. It's the practical outcome of your planning and adaptation efforts.

The key takeaway is that adapting your plan is normal. It's not a sign of failure; it's part of the journey.

Coaching Frameworks to Support Change

To navigate these strategies effectively, it can be incredibly helpful to use coaching frameworks. These frameworks provide structured support and guidance, helping you stay on track and adapt to changes. Here are two powerful models:

The Transformational Coaching Model

The Transformational Coaching Model focuses on deep, sustainable change by addressing limiting beliefs and personal narratives:

• Awareness: Increase self-awareness and identify limiting beliefs.

• Alignment: Align actions with values and goals.

• Action: Take meaningful actions towards change.

• Accountability: Maintain accountability for progress.

This model can be applied across all three strategies, helping clients to navigate both planned and emergent changes while staying true to their core values.

The Narrative Coaching Model

The Narrative Coaching Model uses the power of storytelling to help clients reframe their experiences and create new narratives:

• Story: Understand the client's current narrative.

• Reframe: Help the client reframe their story to see new possibilities.

• Action: Take actions that align with the new narrative.

• Reflection: Reflect on the changes and their impact.

This model is particularly effective for clients who need to reframe their approach to change and see it as a positive journey.

Overcoming Challenges

Even knowing this, challenges and negative thoughts can still derail you. Having a coach can help you stay on track and question your thought processes. If you need any more information or further assistance, please reach out and schedule a 30 minute call (using this link) to explore how I might be able to support you in your change story.