Do You Have Beliefs That Are Holding You Back?

Have you ever felt like you're not good enough, or that everyone else is better than you? You're not alone.

In this post, I want to address the subject of our beliefs. I'm not referring to religious beliefs, but the everyday beliefs that shape how we live and sometimes hold us back both personally and professionally.

What Are Beliefs?

"Beliefs are the rules we live by. They are our best guess at 'reality' and form our mental outlook of the world around us based on our individual experiences. Beliefs are not facts, although we often mistake them for facts. Beliefs can act as self-fulfilling prophecies. They can give us permission, and conversely, they can act as blockers to what we can and want to do."
— Joseph O'Connor

Common Limiting Beliefs

Every day, people from all walks of life mutter phrases like:

• "I'm not good enough."

• "They are all so much better than me."

• "I will sound like an idiot."

• "I can't do this."

• "No one will accept me if I act myself."

These beliefs often lack factual evidence. We all criticise ourselves, and sometimes highlighting our flaws can be a way to bond with others by making ourselves vulnerable and sharing experiences. Some people use self-deprecation to make others laugh, while many use it as a defence mechanism, often without realising it.

What's the Problem with Limiting Beliefs?

The issue with talking and thinking like this is that the thoughts don't end there. You begin to internalise the self-talk, and over time, you start to believe that what you're thinking is true. These beliefs begin to control how you act, and you go in search of evidence to confirm your thinking and belief. In doing so, you get caught in a spiral of ever-increasing constraints imposed by the false limitations you've placed on yourself.

And here's the thing: when you start to limit yourself in this way, you miss out on a whole host of opportunities, success, and chances to shine.

Why Do We Have Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs can stem from various sources, including what you've been told growing up, false information, faulty logic, and past experiences. But when I delve into where these beliefs come from with my clients, one of the most common reasons we subconsciously limit our beliefs is fear.

We're afraid to try in case we fail. We're afraid to embarrass ourselves. We're afraid of succeeding and having to step up. We even stop setting the goals we really want because we don't dare to strive for them.

How Do We Stop Having Limiting Beliefs?

I'm afraid there is no instantaneous way to stop thinking in a self-sabotaging way. There's no switch that will revert everything back to the positive and optimistic version of you. But there are some things you can practice doing and over time, they will become your new automatic response to challenging situations:

Learn to recognise your unique responses: When we're faced with a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable or challenges us, our stress response makes us act instinctively. It's these unconscious responses that you need to manage, and the first step in doing so is recognising them for what they are. Don't try to fight your response; just aim to become aware of how it starts and what happens to progress it to a limiting belief. Once you become aware of the first signs of a negative reaction, you can turn the response around before you become too worked up.

Remember that not all thoughts are facts: We tend to take everything we think as the truth, but that is far from the case. Examine your thoughts and look for evidence of them. So, you think you're rubbish at doing your job. What proof is there of that? Is there any evidence that would act as a contra-indication?

Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones: Once you've managed to stop the limiting beliefs in their tracks, you need to find something else to replace them with. Enabling beliefs are the opposite of limiting beliefs. They help you achieve your potential instead of holding you back. This is a useful article if you'd like to learn more about enabling beliefs, including the different types.

Rounding Up

I'd like to invite you to reflect on the goals and aspirations you have for yourself. Have you unknowingly minimised the scope of your goals because of your limiting beliefs?

Remember, your beliefs shape your reality. By challenging and changing your limiting beliefs, you open up a world of possibilities.

If you'd like help with overcoming your limiting beliefs or setting goals that will help you achieve your potential, then get in touch today and a schedule a no-obligation 30-minute call and discover how we can work together.

Further Reading

How to Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs, Harvard Business Review